he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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