Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
