I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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