Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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