you traded sex for a burrito?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
