Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize