So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
