I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
