So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dicks are not precious.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
