why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
