dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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