The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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