I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
