My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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