I just saw a hot homeless man
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
