The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
