i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
