was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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