dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
