His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My life is pants optional.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
