I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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