I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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