i jhust puked up my retainher.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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