i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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