You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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