my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize