So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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