Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
