How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
