we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
