Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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