You're so nebulous sometimes
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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