Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
