Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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