I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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