You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
