if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize