considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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