no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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