Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
