now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
