Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
