I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
