Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
