Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
