That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
