Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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