You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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