he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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