I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
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Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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