you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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