Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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