Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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