It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
