But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
