I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
where are my eyebrows?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
