i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
