i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
then he tried to convert me to islam
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
