I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
