Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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