if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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