I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
