his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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