Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
