do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
