youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
