i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Im just a social blackout drinker.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
