What did we do last night that was yellow?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
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you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
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Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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